call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
