drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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