you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
