When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
