Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize