i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
