Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
