he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
