It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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