Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
