sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
