well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
