Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
