It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
