Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
