I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
