this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
