I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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