wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
