We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
