im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
