it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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