Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
pop tarts are not kleenex
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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