Soap is not a condiment
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
