y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
