I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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