when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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