Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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