I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
