my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
