do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
