How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
