Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
