Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
But theres a keg here and me gusta
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
