I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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