bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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