You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
