If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I need to calm my uterus...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize