just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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