What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
