yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
