Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
