I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want you more than these girls want KFC
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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