end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
