Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
