Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
