cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
