omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
