very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
