garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
4 words: hood of his car
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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