yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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