i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
