Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
