I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize