I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
