i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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