do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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