I wish I only lived at night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
