if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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