This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
