I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize