I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
