Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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