i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is the high leading the old right now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
