come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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