I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
