I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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