My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
