We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am available for nakedness
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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