I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
