i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
