There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
