i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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