Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
