He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
