you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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