Sry I called you an 8
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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