Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
