Your dad touched me again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
