So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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