the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
