don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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