There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
