i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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