My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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